Happy 1st Birthday, Baby Boy

Dear Sawyer,
Today you turn a year old.  My sweet, chunky, cuddly, smiling baby is already turning into a big boy.  I'd be lying if I said I'm not a little bit sad about that.  I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I want to freeze this moment, keep you just like this.

I love that you only have two teeth, one on top and one on bottom, and that you crinkle up your nose in a silly sort of smile to show them off.  I love that your hair is just starting to grow and that it's so light that you still look bald.  I love that your hands and face and clothes and hair are usually sporting remnants of whatever food you were testing out at the last meal.  I love that you play with my rings while you're nursing, curled up in my lap in your chair, and I love holding you after you've fallen asleep and watching your angel eyes flutter as you settle.

These baby moments are fleeting.

You keep showing me that you're growing up.  I am proud of you.  I really am, no matter how bittersweet it is to admit that you're not that tiny bundle I pulled up onto my chest and kissed for the first time a year ago.

At a year old, you're becoming a chatterbox just like your big sisters.  You are saying more and more words every day.
"All done.  Uh-oh.  Mama.  Dada.  Ball ball.  Cup.  Sista.  Weee!  Dancin'.  Pappaw.  Pop.  Up.  Minn-uh (for Minnie and Mickey).  Choo-choo.  Mmmm.  Dog.  Cat.  Thank you.  Hi.  Hey.  Bye bye.  Whassat (what's that)?  This.  Yay!  Oh.  Whoa.  Wow.  Duck.  Clap.  Baby."
There are more that don't spring to mind right now, and we are in awe when you attempt to repeat even the most difficult of words.  It's impressive.  You also do a mean quack and growl.

Last week, you took your first steps.  You walked to me, and I beamed because I knew you put forth a lot of effort to get to your Mommy.  I'm a little happy that you're still unsure about walking and refuse to do more than a couple of steps at a time.  For a little while, at least, I get to see your silly "gorilla crawl"--your on-all-fours mode of transportation.  You are so adept at it.  And I love to see your little booty stuck up in the air as you speed across the room.

You have a way of making everyone so happy.  We can't help but smile when you dance and clap and laugh.  You have always been so sweet, so calm, and so full of love.

When you were born, I was filled with such a sense of power and pride, and those feelings have not ended.  I am proud to be your Mommy.  I am amazed at how you made our family feel whole, like you were missing all along, the third sparkle in my eye.  You bring joy to us all, and you are loved beyond what you will ever be able to comprehend.

My Mommy's Boy. 
Happy birthday, love.
I hope your day and your life are filled with as much happiness as you bring to all of us.

Love,
Mom

Sunday Citar: Sisters

"Citar" is Spanish for "quote."  Sunday Citar is a time to share your favorite quotes and images, and to celebrate the memories of both.

This week I'm sharing the powerful love of my girls.  Sisters.  They love their parents, their friends, their baby brother.  But most of all they love each other, and no bond could be stronger.

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.”

"If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you."

"It's so much more friendly with two."

"My very best, best friend."

(All quotes from the great bear himself, Winnie the Pooh, a favorite of my girls.)

Engaged

"I walked across an empty land,
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand..."

We walked, hand-in-hand, down this familiar path.  Only months ago, we'd walked this way for the first time.  Together.

We had been nervous, and the day had been filled with silence, and giggles, and cheeks burning bright red.  Today would not be much different.  But today I knew him, inside and out, and today I was comfortable with my hand in his.

"I felt the earth beneath my feet..."

Pieces of mulch crept into my shoes.  When he told me to get dressed this morning, he failed to mention where our adventure might lead, and sandals were not a wise choice for a walking trail.  With relief, we sat on the wooden bridge that crossed the babbling creek.

"Sat by the river and it made me complete."

I brushed off my feet and dangled them off the edge, smiling into those brown eyes that were mine now.  This was our place.  In the middle of thickets of pine trees, the sun managed to peek through and hit exactly this spot.  Months ago, the heat had been welcome, but now it was stifling.  He leaned in for a kiss, almost an exact replication of our first one. 
Same bridge.  Same water.  Same trees.  Same butterflies.
I could never keep from smiling when he kissed me, and some things never change.

We sat silently for a while, just taking in the warm day and the cool water.  I watched it wash over the smooth, brown rocks.  The water was shallow and clear, and the sun reflecting off of it made me look away.  As I turned, I showed him the Queen Anne's Lace I picked from the bank.  It reminded me of the pattern on a wedding dress.  And as I was about to tell him so, I glanced up to find his eyes.  Instead, I found something gleaming and blinding.

Before I understood, I heard his honeyed voice.  Would I make him the happiest man in the world?  Would I be his wife?

The ring was on my finger and tears were in my eyes.

Yes.
YES.

The Queen Anne's Lace floated down the creek as my fingers laced around the back of his head and I pulled his lips to mine.

This was our place of beginnings.

"So why don't we go somewhere only we know?"

("Somewhere Only We Know," by Keane)