A Salmon Burger Experiment

First and foremost, y'all know I don't cook.  Or at least that I don't cook well.   However, lunch rolled around a few days ago and some factors came together that forced me into it.

1. I'm trying to eat healthier foods.  The pool in our neighborhood opened a couple of weeks ago.  As in, it opened in April, as loony as that is.  Will I be there anytime soon?  No.  But hopefully I'll be able to shed a couple of pounds and convince myself to pull on a bathing suit and splash around at some point this summer.
2. I need to go to the grocery store in a bad way.  My pantry and fridge are pretty bare, so I was forced into creativity, which is usually dangerous.
3. I miss Disney World.

What does Disney World have to do with cooking, you might ask (perhaps not so nicely)?
I'm in the middle of planning for our next trip, and when making all our dining reservations, I perused over all the menus.  One of my favorite things I've ever eaten (ever.) was at Akershus Royal Banquet Hall.  The menu at Allears.net describes it as "Akershus Salmon Burger--on a Toasted Onion Roll with Tomatoes, Arugula, and Spicy Red Pepper Coulis."  Mmmmm.  My mouth is watering just thinking about it.  Norwegian?  I thought this was a southern specialty!

Growing up, we had salmon patties (no silent "l" according to my southern mama--"SALmon," she calls it) quite often.  These concoctions are pretty basic.  Can of salmon.  Corn meal or flour.  Eggs.  Salt.  Pepper.  Fry in oil.  And boy are they tasty!  Now that I'm married to a fish-hater, I rarely get to eat them.  And since I am trying that healthier approach, the fried aspect wasn't going to work.

I went to my pantry for inspiration.  I knew right away that I didn't have all the ingredients for the delicious salmon burger.  Not by a long shot.  So it was time for one of my creations.

Don't say you haven't been warned.

In a bowl, I threw together:

• 1 can of salmon, drained, broken up with a fork
• 2 tbs dried minced onions (you could use about a half an onion, but this is lunchtime and I had no time for chopping with a baby on my hip!)
• 1 whole egg, plus another egg white.  Keeping these things sticking together is key, and eggs are "sticky," to use a technical term...
• pinch of salt
• pinch of pepper
• 1/4 tsp garlic powder (could use a clove)
• 1/2 tsp dill...because it's fish?  I'm not sure why I threw it in.  I think I read somewhere that dill is good with fish.
• About 3 good shakes of hot sauce.  This was a nod to Akershus' Red Pepper Coulis, mostly because I have no clue how to make a coulis but know I like a little spice.
• 1 tbs Worcestershire Sauce.  My husband would be proud.
• 1 slice of whole wheat bread, crumbled up, to add more stickiness.
• Just a small shake of Parmesan cheese, since I knew I would not be allowed to melt a big hunk of cheddar on it.

Can you tell we shop at Publix?

Here is probably the most important thing you should remember:  MIX THIS GENTLY WITH YOUR HANDS.  Oh, yes.  It is squishy and wet and gross.  And there is no other way to do it without turning that fish into a paste that won't stick together at all.

Go ahead.  You know you want to squish it.

So, rings off, gently mix it and  lightly roll it into a small ball.  Roll that ball in flour, smash it into a burger shape (it will be smaller than a regular burger), and plop it into a non-stick skillet sprayed with cooking spray.  Fill up the pan with these babies, and after about three minutes, carefully flip them and cook three minutes on the other side.

Those crunchy bits?  The best part.

Inevitably, you will have some breakage.  If you try to make them big, they will all completely fall apart.

I didn't have a potato bun, so I used whole wheat ones.  I took some more Akershus inspiration and laid down a bed of spring greens on my bun.  I didn't have the coulis, so I topped with...wait for it...ketchup.

Fancy!  It said so right on the ketchup bottle.

Now, it was no restaurant quality salmon burger by any means, but it wasn't bad for just haphazardly grabbing ingredients.  I think it needed more crunch.  Maybe next time I'll add chopped celery or bell pepper.  The ketchup was even good on it, I'm embarrassed to say, but if it had a little horseradish mixed with it it would be even better (isn't that cocktail sauce, though?  oh.).  Also, after I took a picture, I added another patty to my burger because it seemed skimpy.  Delish.

Don't take my word for it, though.  This was Julia's plate when she finished.

Probably all I *should* have been eating.

There are tons of salmon burger/patty/cake recipes out there, all very similar, I might add.  I might just try those.  But for now, this mish-mash worked just fine.

I'm Hurt--and Not Just My Ego

One week into this, and already I'm afraid I may have a big problem. 
It's not the diet.  Mostly because that hasn't yet started. Tomorrow, I promise...or soon, at least...
It's not that I don't like to exercise.  I really do!  I've actually had fun running on the treadmill in the garage and have made it through week one of Couch to 5k.  I feel great when I'm done with a session.
Well.
Most of me feels great.
And then there's my knees.

Why, oh, why did you runner-type people not warn me that my knees could easily go from perfectly normal, if a little knobbly, to extremely painful in just seven days!?!  I'm talking can't-make-it-up-the-stairs painful after tonight's run.  Not good.
I thought I was doing everything right.  I stretch before and after exercise.  I do a warm up and a cool down.  I alternate jogging and walking, just like C25K yells for me to do into the earbuds of my iPod.
Do I need new shoes?  Did I overextend my knees?  Are they inflamed?  Is this my fibromyalgia?  Am I just getting trail-worn?  Does the universe just want me to stay unhealthy?!?

Already I can see my dreams of running at Disney World going down the drain with my sweaty bathwater, and I am getting really discouraged with each aching moment.  That was my carrot, people.  I was inspired.  And because of one silly race, I was more determined than ever to build endurance and muscle and lose flab and self-doubt.  Now that might not be feasible.

If you have any clue about why my knees are hot and painful, more so with each run, please let me know.  And if you have any ideas about how to make it better, please let me know that, too.  All my frozen veggies are thawing from icing my knees, and they'd be much better in my belly than as a first aid device.

I guess I also need to start considering the fact that my knees might not allow me to run (please, NO), and I also need ideas for other types of low-impact exercise that can still help me achieve my other goal--beach body by May.  So, help. 
And also tell me that things will get better or some other lie along those lines. 

In more McFatty news, my weight is at 138.2 lbs (down 1.8 lbs), but I look absolutely the same.  In fact, the weight loss is probably due to the fact that I didn't get enough groceries before this snowstorm thing hit the south.  Or it might be because I shaved my legs.  I fully expect the weight to return by next week when our cabinets are stocked, though by then they'll be only stocked with healthy items.  And next week my husband will be on board and I'll have extra encouragement, which, let's face it, I need right now.

My First McFatty Monday

Ohhhhkay.  I'm at this point now.  This is the point I swore I'd never reach.  It has taken three pregnancies and births, but I belong here now.

I need to lose weight, or at least lose inches.

Now, those of you who have known me for years are going to be shocked by this revelation.  That is, unless you've seen me lately.  In that case, you completely understand why I'm here.

And for those of you who don't know me, let me put it to you this way...I'm "that skinny girl."  My dad threw a party for me when I finally hit 100 lbs.  I had abs without trying and my dancer body stuck around even through becoming a mommy.
At least, I was able to keep it up through TWO of my pregnancies.
And then came Sawyer, and my toned days flew out the window.  I'm not sure if my metabolism has changed, or if I'm just getting older, or if (gulp) this is my destiny, but whatever the reason, the flab has got to go.  And soon.  Why?

Because in May, I'm going to the beach.  FOUR MONTHS.  And this jiggle?  It doesn't need to be seen by anyone.

We almost always go to the beach, and I have proof that, without even trying, I always got my body back:

2007, after ONE kid

2009, after TWO kids

Impressive, right?  BUT this is what I looked like last year:

2010, pregnant w/ 3rd kid

And now?  I DON'T LOOK MUCH DIFFERENT THAN THE PREGNANT PICTURE.  I can show you this photo without any embarrassment because I can pretend that the belly is all baby.  But clearly it wasn't, because after 8 lbs. 8 oz. Sawyer was born, the belly didn't shrink much. Where baby once was, there now sits this pocket of flub that makes every pair of pants I own look ill-fitting.  Dangit, third baby!
This is an issue, and not only for my self-esteem (let's face it, that's a huge part of the problem), but for my health.

Because I've never really had to try to keep weight off before now, I really don't know where to begin.  Though I've always been skinny (until now, and I have thus far shied away from documenting the pudge with photographs), I have never been what I would consider healthy.
I don't eat well.  I live off bread, cheese, and pasta.
I don't exercise.  Sometimes I run to the kitchen to get a snack, if that counts.

Now I have three children who need me to be healthy.  And I have a four month deadline before it's time to brave the beach again.

I went searching for some extra inspiration to help me want to exercise, because, if I'm being honest, I truly HATE to exercise.  And I came up with...

The Disney Princess Half-Marathon and 5k!

I have a full year to prepare for it, and if I'm able to run it, I get an extra trip to Disney, according to my wonderfully supportive (or perhaps nostalgic for my old body) husband.  I did a little digging and found that many people like me are using a program called Couch to 5k.  It is supposed to literally take a lazy lump like myself and have me running a 5k in a matter of months.  I like the idea of easing myself into running, and I like the idea of being toned again even more.

Food is going to be harder for me to control.  I love to eat, and pretty much everything I eat has some form of carbs, dairy, or a combo of the two.  I'm also a nursing mom, so I have to make sure I'm getting enough calories.  While I'm going to try to eat better, I'm not going to let myself be hungry, because my son doesn't need to be hungry!

Weight doesn't matter much to me.  Inches matter, and that pudgy patch on my belly and my jiggly thighs matter.  Would I like my weight to be lower?  Absolutely.  But muscles weighs more than fat, and I realize that my weight might not change much, though (hopefully) my physique will.  This is for my health and for a healthy self-esteem.

But I won't complain if the scale shows a lower number soon ;-).
(For the record, I'm starting this journey at 140 lbs.  And it's a very unhealthy 140 lbs., so don't bother telling me I don't need to lose weight, cause I most certainly do.  Yay, heart health!  Belly fat, be gone!)