Happy 1st Birthday, Baby Boy

Dear Sawyer,
Today you turn a year old.  My sweet, chunky, cuddly, smiling baby is already turning into a big boy.  I'd be lying if I said I'm not a little bit sad about that.  I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I want to freeze this moment, keep you just like this.

I love that you only have two teeth, one on top and one on bottom, and that you crinkle up your nose in a silly sort of smile to show them off.  I love that your hair is just starting to grow and that it's so light that you still look bald.  I love that your hands and face and clothes and hair are usually sporting remnants of whatever food you were testing out at the last meal.  I love that you play with my rings while you're nursing, curled up in my lap in your chair, and I love holding you after you've fallen asleep and watching your angel eyes flutter as you settle.

These baby moments are fleeting.

You keep showing me that you're growing up.  I am proud of you.  I really am, no matter how bittersweet it is to admit that you're not that tiny bundle I pulled up onto my chest and kissed for the first time a year ago.

At a year old, you're becoming a chatterbox just like your big sisters.  You are saying more and more words every day.
"All done.  Uh-oh.  Mama.  Dada.  Ball ball.  Cup.  Sista.  Weee!  Dancin'.  Pappaw.  Pop.  Up.  Minn-uh (for Minnie and Mickey).  Choo-choo.  Mmmm.  Dog.  Cat.  Thank you.  Hi.  Hey.  Bye bye.  Whassat (what's that)?  This.  Yay!  Oh.  Whoa.  Wow.  Duck.  Clap.  Baby."
There are more that don't spring to mind right now, and we are in awe when you attempt to repeat even the most difficult of words.  It's impressive.  You also do a mean quack and growl.

Last week, you took your first steps.  You walked to me, and I beamed because I knew you put forth a lot of effort to get to your Mommy.  I'm a little happy that you're still unsure about walking and refuse to do more than a couple of steps at a time.  For a little while, at least, I get to see your silly "gorilla crawl"--your on-all-fours mode of transportation.  You are so adept at it.  And I love to see your little booty stuck up in the air as you speed across the room.

You have a way of making everyone so happy.  We can't help but smile when you dance and clap and laugh.  You have always been so sweet, so calm, and so full of love.

When you were born, I was filled with such a sense of power and pride, and those feelings have not ended.  I am proud to be your Mommy.  I am amazed at how you made our family feel whole, like you were missing all along, the third sparkle in my eye.  You bring joy to us all, and you are loved beyond what you will ever be able to comprehend.

My Mommy's Boy. 
Happy birthday, love.
I hope your day and your life are filled with as much happiness as you bring to all of us.

Love,
Mom

To Brynn, Age Three

Dear Brynn,
Three years.  I cannot believe you have been in our lives three years!  It seems like yesterday that you decided to make your entrance to this world three weeks early, just so you could surprise me and be born on my birthday.  I ate my cake in the hospital room and stared at your beautiful chubby cheeks and long brown hair.

Oh, that hair!  When your sister first saw you, the first thing she said was, "That baby's got a lot of hair!"  It fits your personality so well!  Wild curls like yours are for free spirits.

We had some interesting phases with you as a baby.  Colic.  Reflux.  Screaming just to hear yourself scream, happy or sad.
(Not much has changed about that last one.)

But I could feel you loving us right from the start, and every moment you've ever been happy, you have been positively blissful. When you turned six months old, all the fussing stopped, and your real personality began.

I have always loved that intensity about you.  You cry wholeheartedly, and you laugh with every fiber of your being.  When you give hugs, you grab us around the neck and hold so tightly I think you'll never let go.  But you do let go, mostly because you don't want to be still.

You are my energetic girl, running and giggling, curls trailing behind you.  Making funny faces, jumping on the bed (my little monkey), splashing water out of the sinks, laughing loudly, trying any excuse not to wear clothes.  You're a girl who likes her freedom, for sure.  And we're going to have to discuss that before you're much older.  ;-)

You've always been a constant eater, so much so that it's almost humorous!  When you were a baby, you'd nurse for long periods of time and very often.  Now, you want to graze all the time...peanut butter and honey sandwiches, pickles, celery, apples, and parfaits are your favorites, and when you visit grandparents, you go straight for the popsicles and chips.  I don't know where you put all this food, you're so tall and skinny!

At three, you are turning into such an interesting, empathetic, creative person.  You're getting better at sharing things, and you love to play with your best friend, your sister.  When Sawyer cries, you sing him "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star," and he calms down almost immediately.  You've always needed time to yourself, and I often find you carrying an armload of princess or animal figures to a corner to play.  I love to listen to the conversations you make them have in your not-quite-perfect three-year-old voice.  And my heart melts when you tell me, "I wuv you, Mommy."

I wuv you, too, Miss Brynn.  You are such a sweet girl, and you make everyone around you feel so joyful and alive.  I am amazed by your beauty and your pure spirit.  Thank you for being my unique and perfect Brynnie.

Love, Mom