I'm Hurt--and Not Just My Ego

One week into this, and already I'm afraid I may have a big problem. 
It's not the diet.  Mostly because that hasn't yet started. Tomorrow, I promise...or soon, at least...
It's not that I don't like to exercise.  I really do!  I've actually had fun running on the treadmill in the garage and have made it through week one of Couch to 5k.  I feel great when I'm done with a session.
Well.
Most of me feels great.
And then there's my knees.

Why, oh, why did you runner-type people not warn me that my knees could easily go from perfectly normal, if a little knobbly, to extremely painful in just seven days!?!  I'm talking can't-make-it-up-the-stairs painful after tonight's run.  Not good.
I thought I was doing everything right.  I stretch before and after exercise.  I do a warm up and a cool down.  I alternate jogging and walking, just like C25K yells for me to do into the earbuds of my iPod.
Do I need new shoes?  Did I overextend my knees?  Are they inflamed?  Is this my fibromyalgia?  Am I just getting trail-worn?  Does the universe just want me to stay unhealthy?!?

Already I can see my dreams of running at Disney World going down the drain with my sweaty bathwater, and I am getting really discouraged with each aching moment.  That was my carrot, people.  I was inspired.  And because of one silly race, I was more determined than ever to build endurance and muscle and lose flab and self-doubt.  Now that might not be feasible.

If you have any clue about why my knees are hot and painful, more so with each run, please let me know.  And if you have any ideas about how to make it better, please let me know that, too.  All my frozen veggies are thawing from icing my knees, and they'd be much better in my belly than as a first aid device.

I guess I also need to start considering the fact that my knees might not allow me to run (please, NO), and I also need ideas for other types of low-impact exercise that can still help me achieve my other goal--beach body by May.  So, help. 
And also tell me that things will get better or some other lie along those lines. 

In more McFatty news, my weight is at 138.2 lbs (down 1.8 lbs), but I look absolutely the same.  In fact, the weight loss is probably due to the fact that I didn't get enough groceries before this snowstorm thing hit the south.  Or it might be because I shaved my legs.  I fully expect the weight to return by next week when our cabinets are stocked, though by then they'll be only stocked with healthy items.  And next week my husband will be on board and I'll have extra encouragement, which, let's face it, I need right now.

Top Ten Tuesday--Top Ten Goals for 2011

It's that time again, folks--time for another Top Ten Tuesday list.  This week, it's Top Ten Resolutions...but I'm just going to call them "goals."  Let's face it, I don't have much resolve, so this is more like a list of things I hope to accomplish, but I definitely won't beat myself up if it doesn't happen.
 
Doesn't sound like I'm setting myself up for success, huh?  Well...hmmmm...you're probably right.  Nonetheless, my top ten goals are:
 
1. Be able to run a 5k, minimum.  Running has previously been, as my friend Miranda would say, something I only do if chased.  This year?  It's something I'm doing for my health and for a healthy self-esteem.  I'm determined not only to get to the Disney Princess Half-Marathon/5k Weekend, but also to lower my risk of heart disease by improving my cardiovascular health.  And also, I don't mind if my saggy booty gets a little pick-me-up.
 
2. Learn to knit.  I know that immediately you thought, "That is one boring old lady."  And I am.  Boring, not old.  I like to be able to sit and do things in bed (oh, so your mind went there...), although I'm already preparing myself for leaving a knitting needle on my pillow out of sheer absentmindedness and having it poke through my ear or something. 
So maybe knitting isn't for me.  Or it's for a more responsible me (maybe that should be a goal?).  Katie wants to knit, too, but I'm willing to bet she doesn't get stabbed by her knitting supplies.
 
3. Keep my house somewhat tidy.  I want people to be able to drop by unexpectedly and only be shocked to see how wrecked I look, not how wrecked my house looks.  I've already done a huge toy clean-out downstairs and in my kids' rooms, and now I'm working on the upstairs playroom, which will eventually be Sawyer's room when he decides he doesn't like bunking in with his parents.  My carpets have been shampooed, and I'm doing my best to actually hang up the laundry that I get clean.  I'm making a valiant effort to get the dishes into the dishwasher immediately since we no longer have pets to lick them clean for us.  (Joking.  Kind of.)

4. Get that freakin' leak fixed.  We have a leak of some sort.  It started in the kids' bathroom, and now it has spread to include the upstairs playroom/Sawyer's future bedroom.  It just keeps getting worse, and I'm tired of clumps of sheet rock falling on my kids while they're bathing.  Plus, I can't decorate and paint the room for Sawyer until that wall is fixed, and that means his toys and clothes and furniture will be perpetually stuck in my room until we fix this (Sawyer can sleep with us for as long as he wants,  but the million baby items need a home).  And by we, I mean Brandon's dad.  I have no shame in admitting that my husband and I have pretty much no handyman skills.

5. Pay off those medical bills.  They don't seem to be disappearing on their own.  Sigh...

6. Get some sleep.  I really could go to bed much earlier than I do now.  I have a tendency to stay awake "just until Sawyer nurses the next time."  That's my excuse for staying up, but the truth is that I really just enjoy the quiet time when all three kids are resting.  I want to soak up enough quiet to get me through the next day when chaos inevitably ensues.  And I want to watch television with adult humor and talk to my husband about his day and eat snacks without them being stolen by little grubby hands.  The problem is, I am a person who NEEDS sleep.  Lots of sleep.  Add two or three night feedings to my late bedtime, factor in my kids all waking with the sun, and you've got one grumpy mommy.  Coffee helps some, but not much.  Something's gotta give, and it can't be Sawyer's food.

7. Keep on breastfeeding!  I think it's always wise to have breastfeeding goals, not just when it's resolution time.  I always start out with small goals--get a latch, get my milk to come in well--and then they get bigger-- nurse a week, six weeks, 3 months, 6 months, a year, two years.  Three days from now, we'll be hitting our goal of 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding.  I love knowing that my chunky baby has been grown only on mommy milk thus far.  Soon we'll be introducing solids, and I want to make sure to keep it up through that.  He'll be turning one in July, and I want to keep on going through that.  We made it 16 months with Julia and two years with Brynn, and I'm hoping to make it that long with Sawyer.  My boobs are pretty awesome, and my goal is for them to keep up that level of awesomeness through at least the next year.

8. Get some blog followers.  Lots of people visit, and many keep coming back.  But only a few are following, and I don't know how to change that.  So I guess I should do some research.  You know, in my "free" time...

9. Learn to take a picture that doesn't suck.  Sawyer learned to sit up today, and my picture of it?  Kind of sucked.  My husband is great at photography, but he's not here during the day to capture all those moments.  I can do the point-and-shoot route, but I'd rather take a photo I'm proud to display.  I guess I'll learn in all that free time people think I have...

10. Tell my family that I love them every. single. day.  And then tell them again.  And then show them.  This one, I think I can accomplish.

My First McFatty Monday

Ohhhhkay.  I'm at this point now.  This is the point I swore I'd never reach.  It has taken three pregnancies and births, but I belong here now.

I need to lose weight, or at least lose inches.

Now, those of you who have known me for years are going to be shocked by this revelation.  That is, unless you've seen me lately.  In that case, you completely understand why I'm here.

And for those of you who don't know me, let me put it to you this way...I'm "that skinny girl."  My dad threw a party for me when I finally hit 100 lbs.  I had abs without trying and my dancer body stuck around even through becoming a mommy.
At least, I was able to keep it up through TWO of my pregnancies.
And then came Sawyer, and my toned days flew out the window.  I'm not sure if my metabolism has changed, or if I'm just getting older, or if (gulp) this is my destiny, but whatever the reason, the flab has got to go.  And soon.  Why?

Because in May, I'm going to the beach.  FOUR MONTHS.  And this jiggle?  It doesn't need to be seen by anyone.

We almost always go to the beach, and I have proof that, without even trying, I always got my body back:

2007, after ONE kid

2009, after TWO kids

Impressive, right?  BUT this is what I looked like last year:

2010, pregnant w/ 3rd kid

And now?  I DON'T LOOK MUCH DIFFERENT THAN THE PREGNANT PICTURE.  I can show you this photo without any embarrassment because I can pretend that the belly is all baby.  But clearly it wasn't, because after 8 lbs. 8 oz. Sawyer was born, the belly didn't shrink much. Where baby once was, there now sits this pocket of flub that makes every pair of pants I own look ill-fitting.  Dangit, third baby!
This is an issue, and not only for my self-esteem (let's face it, that's a huge part of the problem), but for my health.

Because I've never really had to try to keep weight off before now, I really don't know where to begin.  Though I've always been skinny (until now, and I have thus far shied away from documenting the pudge with photographs), I have never been what I would consider healthy.
I don't eat well.  I live off bread, cheese, and pasta.
I don't exercise.  Sometimes I run to the kitchen to get a snack, if that counts.

Now I have three children who need me to be healthy.  And I have a four month deadline before it's time to brave the beach again.

I went searching for some extra inspiration to help me want to exercise, because, if I'm being honest, I truly HATE to exercise.  And I came up with...

The Disney Princess Half-Marathon and 5k!

I have a full year to prepare for it, and if I'm able to run it, I get an extra trip to Disney, according to my wonderfully supportive (or perhaps nostalgic for my old body) husband.  I did a little digging and found that many people like me are using a program called Couch to 5k.  It is supposed to literally take a lazy lump like myself and have me running a 5k in a matter of months.  I like the idea of easing myself into running, and I like the idea of being toned again even more.

Food is going to be harder for me to control.  I love to eat, and pretty much everything I eat has some form of carbs, dairy, or a combo of the two.  I'm also a nursing mom, so I have to make sure I'm getting enough calories.  While I'm going to try to eat better, I'm not going to let myself be hungry, because my son doesn't need to be hungry!

Weight doesn't matter much to me.  Inches matter, and that pudgy patch on my belly and my jiggly thighs matter.  Would I like my weight to be lower?  Absolutely.  But muscles weighs more than fat, and I realize that my weight might not change much, though (hopefully) my physique will.  This is for my health and for a healthy self-esteem.

But I won't complain if the scale shows a lower number soon ;-).
(For the record, I'm starting this journey at 140 lbs.  And it's a very unhealthy 140 lbs., so don't bother telling me I don't need to lose weight, cause I most certainly do.  Yay, heart health!  Belly fat, be gone!)