Saturday, January 8, 2011

A Letter to My Son at 6 Months Old

**The main reason I started this blog a couple of months ago was so it could act as a written account of the lives of my children.  It's a baby book of sorts, and I hope that one day they can sit and read about the things they used to say and do and see pictures of their cuteness.  Most of all, I want them to know their mom loves them.
This is an entry for Sawyer to document his life at six months old.**

Dear Sawyer,

I knew as soon as I found out I was pregnant with you that you were a boy.  I'm not sure if it was a gut feeling, a mother's intuition, or just a sincere longing, but I knew.  We kept your pregnancy a secret for three months, and I spent hours of that time rubbing my belly and talking to the baby I knew would be my "Mommy's Boy."  In February 2010, we went for an ultrasound that confirmed what I already knew--you'd be our first boy.  While we were in the midwife's office, it started snowing.  Since it hardly ever snows here, I took it as a sign that something soft and pure, perfect and unique would soon be coming into our lives.  I knew I'd never forget that moment.

Your birth in July was so calm and full of so much love.  It's almost as if you didn't want to make much trouble for me, and I went through most of labor with only a bad tummyache and pushed you out within two minutes.  I reached down and delivered you myself, pulling you up onto my chest.  Perfection.

Going to be weighed. 8lbs 8 oz

My Old Soul, 1 Day Old

That's still your personality--calm, not wanting to make much of a fuss.
You began to nurse immediately, and you really haven't stopped since.  You turned six months old yesterday, and all 21 pounds of you has been grown only with breastfeeding.  I am proud of you for that.  I'm proud of both of us.  No bottles, no solid food, just Mommy.  You're bigger than lots of babies and have been wearing 9 month sized clothing for a month now.   You wear Blueberry cloth diapers on the largest setting and FuzziBunz in size medium.

Sweet boy, you have had us smiling from the beginning.  When you were first born, you whimpered like a puppy when you were sleeping, and we'd watch you and listen to you instead of sleeping ourselves.  At first, you would nap in a Pack-n-Play cradle and sleep at night with us.  You started rolling over from your back to your belly at about two months old, so the cradle had to go.  From then on, it was just our big bed for you, until a few days ago.  We decided that leaving you on the bed is now too dangerous because you're so roly-poly, so we bought you a crib and placed it beside our bed.  Now you nap there, and sleep at night in our bed with us.  I love cuddling with you all night.  You always want to be touching me in some way, whether it's nursing or curling up your feet and putting them on my leg.  And honestly?  I want that, too.
One day you'll have a room of your own, I promise.  But for now, I nurse you and rock you to sleep every single time.  I know that the time you'll allow me to do this is fleeting, and I love watching your still-baby-grey eyes getting heavy as you drift off, then gently placing you next to me to rest.

At half a year old, you already love to play.  Taggie blankets are a favorite, mostly because you love anything you can put in your mouth!  You love to chew on the one my friend Miranda made for you, as well as one shaped like a starfish that your sisters didn't enjoy and passed on to you.  We have to keep a supply of cold teethers ("colds," as your sisters call them) for you to gnaw on, too.  So far, no teeth.  And I'm pretty grateful for that.  So far, no sickness, either, unless you count the runny nose you had on Christmas, and I don't count that since it was gone in a day and didn't bother you.
As far as other toys, you've got a fascination with Tiggers (Is it the bold colors?  Or the tail?) and dressed as Tigger for Halloween, along with both of your sisters.

If it has lights and makes music, chances are it's a toy you love.  For Christmas, Santa brought you a tool bench that does both things; he must have known that our house is filled with princess toys and that you needed something a little more manly.  We had our first white Christmas in decades, and I just knew it was for you.  Again, it made me realize how pure and perfect you are, and as I'm writing this to mark six months of your life, I'm waiting for it to start snowing again.
We put you on a blanket in the floor with several toys, and immediately you flip onto your belly, where you raise yourself up high on your hands and look around.  You can flip back over to your back, but you hate to do it (too fast a motion, maybe) and will fuss until I turn you over or until you give up and just do it yourself.
You are the third baby to use the toy chair that you adore, even though it's lost lots of the toys through the years.  You're so curious about how everything works, and you love getting to stand up in it.

You're so curious about the world, in fact, that you have always wanted to face outward when in a baby carrier so you can see what's going on.
If I'm rocking you in a chair, you want to sit facing outward, as well.  The only time you want to be cradled like a baby is when you're nursing; otherwise, I think you are afraid you'll fall asleep and miss something.  And as for sitting?  You learned to do that on your own this week.  You can sit for about 30 seconds to a minute before toppling over and moving on to play some more.

You're growing up so fast.  Sometimes I swear it sounds like you're saying, "Yeah," and "Hey."  You can chatter away with everyone, and smile and laugh like you're following every conversation.  Peek-a-Boo makes you laugh because you giggle every time you get scared.  And then you try to scare people with your grunting and blowing raspberries!   I am usually covered in your slobbery kisses, drool, and spit-up, and I don't mind one bit.  Your sisters adore you and will sing to you and play games with you often.  Julia wants to take care of you and make you happy.  When you fuss, she says, "It's okay, Sawyer, I'm right here," and you calm down.  She reads you books and will sing your favorite song, "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star," which almost always makes you relaxed.  Brynn is only two, so she can't do as much for you, but she constantly brings me blankets that she says are yours and wants me to give them to you.  She'll rub your almost-bald head (which Julia says looks "just like a peach") and is very interested in what you're all about.
I've never met such a content baby.  And that's not just me being a proud mom--it's what everyone says.  Your grandparents are all especially smitten. You have everyone you meet wrapped around your chubby little finger and people comment to me often about how sweet and calm and happy you are.
And you ARE all those things.
People can pass you around and carry you like a sack of potatoes, and you just enjoy the ride.  And I enjoy that no matter how much fun you're having with someone else, you always look for me and give me a big slobbery grin when you realize I haven't gone anywhere.  I'm right there with you.  Always.

I know that people think babies can't do much in the first six months after being born, but they are wrong.
You're the first grandson and great-grandson in our huge family to carry on the family name.
You've helped my heart grow even bigger to make room for enough love for three kids, and each time I see you smile, it grows even more.
In six short months, you've managed to fill the hole of what was missing in our family and make us more complete.  We all love you more than we could have ever imagined, and we can feel your love for us.

Thank you for blessing us.



  1. Well thank you very much for making me cry :) this is beautiful. Make you keep a copy of this and tuck it safely away for him ;)

  2. tears rolling down my face. too precious for words. happy half birthday sawyer! i'm glad you bless your family in such a simply perfect way. may you have many many happy days filled with nothing but joy & love. may you be a man of honor & integrity & may you truly live all the days of your life!

    jennifer, thanks for posting this. it reminds me that, i too, should be writing a 6 month letter to paxton. you make motherhood look glorious. happy snowy day to you!

  3. Are you TRYING to make me cry? Really? Gosh I love that little guy!